The Winter Games

Note: Melissa insists that I give out the location of The Winter Games for anyone who has not participated in the past. These games only take place in my mind. They are completely fictitious, and were created as a result of spending an afternoon in bed with a migraine.  I was feeling creative and decided to share.


In case you were not aware, the third annual Upper Midwest Winter Games are coming soon.  This year will be something special.  They will be international games!  Remember, this is a family-friendly event.  There is something for everyone, including some new and exciting changes to this year’s games.  Read on for a listing of some of the highlights.

A new item for the kids this year: find the missing key in the snow pile.  The kids should have honed their skills for this game in the sawdust piles at the school carnivals.  This game was added after the disaster last year when Sven lost the key to his brand new snow blower in the front yard.

The 40-yard dash:  This race is between the car stuck in the snow ridge at the end of the driveway and the front door, carrying full bags of groceries each trip.  This is another new event this year.  It was also added because of Sven’s mishap last year.

There is one other major change to this year’s games.  Due to unforeseen issues last year, the water balloon fight has been cancelled.  Who would have thought picking up small pieces of balloon would be so difficult in the spring?

Instead, there will be fenderberg hockey this year.  It will be a bring your own berg event, so do not kick them off your vehicle before you get here.

Many of the favorite events from years past have returned.

Competitive eating: How much snow can you eat in 3 minutes?

Strongest person biathlon: Shovel wet, heavy snow, and chisel frozen tire tracks from the driveway.

Square dancing: Vehicles do-si-doing at an icy 4-way stop.

Face painting: Cut your favorite pattern in a scarf, wrap it around your face and sit outside for 20 minutes.

The luge: Fall down on the sidewalk while walking the dog, right after they have seen a rabbit.

Once again a precursor to the Curling World Cup: speed sweeping the snow off the cars in the driveway.

And don’t forget the kids favorites!

Downhill skiing: right off the barn roof.

The snowman making contest.

There will be plenty of food as well.  The concession stand will be serving lefse and strong coffee for the adults.  There will be hot cocoa for the kids.  The bonfire for roasting s’mores will also return.  Due to some complaints last year about the smoke bothering a few competitors, though, the fire will be moved inside the barn this year.  Hopefully this will be more successful.  The potluck is back as well, so there will be plenty of hotdishes and Jell-O salads for all.

The list goes on and on.  As you can see, there are many fun things to watch and do.  Why not come take part in the fun?  Who knows, you just might be crowned the new king or queen of The Winter Games!

If we don’t see you at the games, we at least hope to see you outside practicing.